The Local Pigeon Botherer

On New Year's Eve, Paul and I went out into town and did a bit of shopping before going to a local pub to get some lunch. Whilst waiting to be served, an old lady walked through the door, her eyes completely focused on me. I didn't have a fucking clue who she was and was a little freaked out when she started making her way to our table. Once she got close enough, she started flailing her arms before pointing her finger at me saying, 

"You tell them to leave my boys alone or else I'll send them in after ye!"

WHAT THE LIVING FUCK?

Did I just get threatened by an ole granny?!

Paul and I were utterly flabbergasted! So much so that we just laughed it off as she made her way outside again. Now we just ignored it but a guy at the bar saw the whole thing and told us that she's just a local who feeds the pigeons. And that her little rant was because he usually chases them away.

So her "boys" that she was refering to? Were the pigeons.

Only in Derry guys! Only in Derry...

A Puddle Almost Killed Me...

My final day of university before the Christmas holidays was not plain sailing. 

The night before saw torrential rainfall which resulted in various parts of my city being flooded. There was snow too but not much to cause disruption. I was unprepared for the flooding as I was too preoccupied worrying about icy roads, much to my misfortune.

I had literally only been driving five minutes before I nearly crashed my car. In an unlit area, shielded by trees, was a huge mother fucking puddle. Now, anybody who drives or who has common sense knows that you gotta drive slowly through deep puddles. Unfortunately I did not see this puddle until it was too late. I hit it at full speed causing a huge typhoon of water to cover my windscreen. I could not see a fucking thing. I was literally driving blind, trying to keep my car under control and as far away from the oncoming lights in the other lane as possible.

My wipers were of no use, despite them going full speed. The only way I can describe it is to imagine what it would be like driving through a car wash. When all the water finally drained away, I was an inch away from the other lane. I'm thankful it happened where it did because I know that road so well. If it had happened in the main city, I'd have been fucked.

Annoyingly, my lecture was postponed for an hour and when it did eventually start, it rambled on and on and he couldn't even answer the questions we had about our January exam. So I risked my life for a mediocre lecture. How typical.