Challenge Accepted

Thanks to Mynx over at Lizard Happy, I am now joined up to the A to Z Challenge which is taking place in April. I decided to join as I missed out on last years BEDA Challenge and it does sound like an interesting concept to try.

It will also be interesting to see if I can come up with 26 posts following the A to Z theme! If you want to join too then head on over and sign up

I can't wait to get started!

SHITTY FLICKS: THE RAVEN

Shitty Flicks is an ongoing column that celebrates the most hilariously incompetent, amusingly pedestrian, and mind-bogglingly stupid movies ever made by people with a bit of money, some prior porn-directing experience, and no clue whatsoever. It is here you will find unrestrained joy in movies meant to terrify and thrill, but instead poke at your funny bone with their weird, mutant camp-girl penis.

WARNING: I tend to give away major plot points and twist endings in my reviews because, whatever. Shut up.

 

T h e R a v e n

By Edgar Allan Poe,

by way of Ulli Lommel

Once upon a midnight dreary,

while I pondered weak and weary,

I, not thinking, brought back

The Raven from the movie store.

While I watched, I wished for napping,

to save me from this horrid crapping,

As Ulli Lommel's vicious trapping

made me feel like his dirty whore.

"Tis god awful," I muttered, "this movie I abhor-

I wish I had rented something more."

-----

Ah, distinctly I remember,

this would have offended famous Edgar,

as he clawed the lid of his coffin,

deep below the graveyard floor.

Eagerly I wished the morrow;

nothing's brought me greater sorrow,

had I just been somewhat stronger,

I'd've thrown this out the door...

Perhaps shook it off and ascended to the store,

but I stayed for Ulli's hellish tour.

-----

What this movie was about, I can't be certain,

It filled me with boredom-

a boredom I'd never felt before.

An hour's time, the cast sat eating--

and only talking, ain't that cheating?

With nary a reference to Edgar Poe,

what was this movie made for?

If not to honor a genius,

why suffer through this chore?

This it is, and nothing more.

-----

"Damn this movie's scent of farting!

Damn it all!" I shrieked upstarting-

"This movie doth much offend me,

I wish to hear me snore!

Does Ulli think my brain is broken,

perhaps a boob who is soft-spoken,

As to not see in this 1800's sequence

a very modern bedroom door?"

I pressed fast forward; the movie soared,

thought of watching; held it more.

Qouth the Raven – "I'm a bore."

-----

And The Raven, so unfitting,

please leave sitting, PLEASE leave sitting,

It can't bore you if it stays unseen,

sitting in the movie store.

Late at night, it haunts my dreaming,

I even sometimes wake up screaming,

And shake away haunts of Ulli's movie,

filled with nothing but corny gore.

Nightly I pray o'er us all,

my knees tucked 'neath me on the floor,

I pray to God that no luckless soul ever lift

The Raven from the movie store.

Quoth the Raven – 'I'm a snore.'

 

Tim Burton was glad he was able to bond with Jack Nicholson,
even if it was over their retarded 80s punk hair.

Best. Boyfriend. Ever

This post is dedicated to Paul for suprising me with a beautiful bouquet of flowers today! So thanks sweetheart, they really did cheer me up after a crap day at uni!

Happy Valentine's Day

It seems to be all the rage these past few days to discuss Valentine's Day so I thought I'd share my thoughts on this controversial holiday too.

My Valentine's Day cupcake

Now I call it controversial as people either love it or hate it. Personally, I love it and despise how people can be so cynical about it. The cynical people are not necessarily all single as you might expect. I know many couples who find the whole holiday embarrassing and stupid. These people argue that partners should show they love each other every day of the year and not just one particular random day in February. 

I agree with this. Partners should love and cherish each other every day of the year and not feel pressurised by social expectation to be the perfect other half on this day. Or to bankrupt themselves buying twelve dozen roses or Belgian chocolates.

However, if you have this view then the likes of Mother's Day and Father's Day shouldn't be celebrated either because surely you should cherish your mother and father every day of the year as well?

I think people read too much into this holiday and thus the hype is generated. Whether you're in a relationship or not, simply spend the day doing something nice that you are going to enjoy. Just don't be cynical about it! It's meant to be a celebration of love after all!

I hate the term Vomit Day and not once, when I was single, did I ever curse those in relationships on Valentine's Day. I simply ignored it. So why can't others do the same? I hate how people say it's a stupid holiday, then those who enjoy the holiday (like myself) are made to feel silly for liking it.

On a final note, to anyone who says they don't like it because it's helping companies become richer - I'm assuming you don't buy into the concept of Halloween, Christmas, New Year, Easter, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Independence Day, Birthdays, Anniversaries or St Patrick's Day then either? 

But anyways, rant over.

AN INSIDIOUS AGENDA

You were about eight. You suffered night terrors - these awful fits of pure fear. You were terrified of an old woman you said used to come visit you at night.

I dismissed your stories. I told you to grow up.

Then I saw her for myself. 

 

At first I thought it was a camera problem. Then I saw her again.

  In each photo, she got closer...

...and closer...

 ...and closer to you. 

In the back of your mind, you're still afraid to have your picture taken...

... aren't you?

Wishlist #7

ShopBubbi: Miss You t-shirt: £15:99

Song of the Week #12

Mulan - I'll Make A Man Out Of You

So if you read my previous post then you'll know that I was in a bit of a down and out mood yesterday. This song is therefore thanks to Fang because he said to get out of my depressive mood soon as my happy posts are more fun and so I'm posting this because it is my go to "happy song"

I just adore it.